I am not normally in the habit of sharing my poetry with anyone, but in a late night email to my friend in the USA who I have as my FRIENDS Swap partner, I decided to share one of the poems I wrote back in 2004. I wrote this, and a number of other poems in a time when I was feeling quite depressed and lonely, as I had been diagnosed with a brain tumour (benign, Praise God!) the previous August (2003).
I was told I had to stop work, stop driving, and I was not to cook, or hang washing on the line, or do all the other normal jobs one does as a mother/wife due to my balance being so badly affected by the tumour.
It is called an Acoustic Neuroma, and it is only small, and thankfully very slow growing, but it is growing on the Acoustic nerve, the Balance nerve, and the Facial nerve, so I had been having some falls, and I could not walk a straight line (no alcohol involved, I promise!) and I just thought I was a clumsy clutz. But, after I fell off my chair at work, and the Tinnitus (ringing in the ear) was becoming unbearable, I was forced to seek a Specialist's opinion, and I had an MRI with the ink, which is what finally made the tumour visible.
Since it is now 7 years since the diagnosis, the other parts of my brain have begun to compensate for the loss in the other areas, so I have not had a fall for quite some time, and my other symptoms are quite bearable most of the time, but obviously this particular day, I was feeling a bit low and I have often written my poetry when I have been sad.
Well, here it is - read it slowly - I give it to you not to feel sorry for me, as I am okay, but to help you all realise that we are all surrounded by God's blessings all the time, and we sometimes forget to acknowledge them. It was written on 20th of April 2004.
It's funny how we do not notice
We go through life, day to day
Not seeing, not realising
That everything we have is
To see, to hear, to speak,
to touch, even to smell
Ah! The smell of roses, freshly cut
Or warm toast, dripping with butter
To see a sunset, a bird in flight,
a starlit night
To hear a whisper, a child's soft voice,
the sound of a heart beat
To speak and be heard, to read aloud to a child's wonder -
huge eyes, head resting upon upturned hands,
cross legged at your feet
To touch a baby's hand and feel them grip your finger -
the slide of silky satin,
the warmth of a puppy's tummy held securely in your arms
Dear God, please make me grateful for these riches -
these gifts you have given me
I do not take them lightly now
Now that I know how easily they can be lost
They are precious, priceless gifts
I hope my poem may touch you in some way, perhaps life has been getting you "down" and you have been feeling stressed, and maybe, just maybe my poem will help you to stop...and smell the roses for a moment, as none of us can know what life will hold for us today, tomorrow or just.. one day....perhaps before we did take the time to look at what we have in our families, and our friends, and how our hearts are truly overflowing with love that we forget to acknowledge.
So that is my prayer for you today, that you may take just a moment, take a breath, and enjoy and appreciate what you have.
Hugs & Blessings from Sue of Oz